Many people experience anxiety in social situations because of a lack of self-confidence. The fear of rejection is often crippling, keeping people from enjoying dinner with friends or family get-togethers. Why does how we view ourselves affect our social life?

Theory: The major theory of self-esteem is that we experience perceived social acceptance and rejection emotionally. Often our self-esteem level is determined by how many people accept us or reject us. So, people with high self-esteem are those that experience a high level of acceptance while those with low self-esteem experience a sense of social neglect. The problem is that people struggle with accurately reading the amount of acceptance and rejection in their lives. Therefore, many people have an artificially low self-esteem and find themselves feeling anxiety when placed in social situations due to the fear of rejection.

Seeing the truth: One of the quickest ways to enhance your self-esteem is to examine the levels of acceptance and rejection you experience. For most people there actually a much greater amount of warmth and acceptance from others than coldness. Take note of the number of people in your life that care about you, then look at the amount that reject you. You will probably find a larger number of people that accept you, which should translate into feeling better about yourself.

Take action: Those who have a high self-esteem are most likely people of action. They are not scared to branch out. Therefore, those who suffer with low-esteem become paralyzed. Finding the courage to make new friends and increase the level of positive social engagements can really boost your self-esteem. However, if you are suffering from anxiety, this can create fear of meeting new people or being judged. So working with a psychiatrist can be very helpful.

Positive thoughts: Many people with low self-esteem will beat themselves up, lowering their self-worth even more. Often they find themselves doubting, second-guessing, and being negative instead of being positive, reassuring, and nurturing. If you find yourself with negative thoughts, take some time to remember the good things about yourself. Work on saying encouraging things to yourself. Take two minutes twice a day to either say or think about positive attributes.

If low self-esteem is causing you anxiety, talk to one of Solace Counseling’s counselors. Our team is happy to help you see how great you are! There is no reason self-esteem should inhibit your daily life and activities. For more tips on dealing with anxiety, visit us on Facebook and Twitter.